Sorry for the delay folks. I have started school and was a bit overwhelmed (that’s a lie, I was REALLY overwhelmed) and then my body shut down on me and I was sick for most of this week. I will knock out the rest of my testimony today so I can move on to what God is doing here and now. I would like to remind you that I am praying my testimony sparks a fire in your heart for the things of God. In no way am I trying to “toot my own horn,” but as it says in psalm 143: “I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.” I hope reading this even my heart is reminded of God’s faithfulness and thirsts for Jesus like a parched land.
June of 2009 right after Brendon and I separated my two good friend LeaAnn and Charity (yes they play a huge part in my life, I love those ladies and am who I am because of them) encouraged me to go to another conference called Kingdom Culture in Redding CA at Bethel Church. It was a last minute decision but I bought a $400 plane ticket and joined the other two girls. We arrived early Wed. morning for a three day conference. The very first step I took into Bethel church I felt like I was home. That day was the very first day I ever told anyone I wanted to go to the School of Supernatural Ministry. Once I shared the deep secret in my heart with LeaAnn and Charity they looked at me and said: “You have to come here.” The thought scared me. Leave everything and everyone I have ever known and move 2,000 miles away by myself; it terrified me. But if I have learned anything with my walk with Jesus it is, if I feel terrified of something normally Jesus is doing a big work. I brushed off their comment with a common phrase, “I’ll pray about it,” and walked away to buy a coffee at “He-brew” coffee shop in the church. I was standing in line thinking about how crazy it was I ended up in Redding and felt so at home here when the family in front of me in line said something about the father paying for all of their coffee. Joking around I said out loud, “Am I included in that?” The father, Randy, turned around and said “yes, actually you are.” I was so shocked but later I found out the God told Randy to turn around and buy the girl behind him coffee!! We started talking and in the middle of our conversation Randy looked at me and said, “Do you know you are coming to school here?” I laughed out loud because I was so surprised and asked him what he was talking about. “God just told me you are coming to Bible school here.” I was stunned. This stranger just prophesied over me about what was one my heart for almost two years and what LeaAnn and Charity just spoke over me. My next question was “Did God say anything about money?!”
After that the Lord used Randy’s little daughter to prophesied over me saying “Danielle I don’t know where you are going but you cannot stay in Arlington Texas.” Yet again I was shell shocked. Everything was taken away from me, even Texas.
I knew I couldn’t start Bible school that fall, just a few months away, so the only time I would start would be fall of 2010 which would be right after the girls I lead at church would graduate high school and my time as their leader would end. It was lined up perfectly, just what God told me, once my leadership was done something huge would happen for me! Funny how that happens.
After I said yes to God things started coming into place. Peace like nun other washed over me. God grew and matured my heart. In February of 2010 God released to Brendon to pursue me again. I was held back with fear in my heart I had to deal with between me and the Lord before I ever entered into a relationship again. Jesus set me free in April from that fear and Brendon and I are now back together!! J
The Lord even answered my question to Randy about money by dropping a Home Depot national commercial in my lap just a few months before I packed up and left. This is a testimony in itself, so I will just briefly write about it. I have an agent in Dallas who gets me auditions for commercials and movies. A commercial auditioned for Home Depot opened up to me in March that said to bring “your husband or someone to pretend to by your husband, NO ACTORS JUST REAL PEOPLE.” Since Brendon was pursing me again I thought it would be fun for him to come along, long story short, out of hundreds of people and two auditions, both Brendon and I were chosen to play husband and wife on national TV! Haha Commercial actors receive checks in the mail every few weeks every time the commercial is aired for a period of time. Well my checks are now dwindling out. I am still praying for more in the mail but I honestly still have to rely on God to provide for me since my budget is still tight. It’s funny how God can use something completely random to provide for me and still put a limit on it so my faith is in Him not anything else. And as you all know my car died two weeks before I was supposed to drive to CA so I had to purchase a new car, yet again putting my faith in Jesus.
Well ladies and gentleman, that is my story, this is why I am 2,000 miles away from everything I grew up knowing. It is only because of God I have made it this far. I wish I could describe every detail of what happened in my heart so you could be amazed by Jesus, but some things are just between me and the Lord, and plus I don’t want to write another “War and Peace.” ;) Just wait till I tell you about my first week of school….I didn’t know if was going to survive the next 9 months of studies. But I’ll save that for a little later.
Thank you for reading my heart. I hope it encourages you.
Love to all,
~Dani b.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Papa Baloo!
I will take a short break from my testimony to let you know I have named by new car PAPA BALOO!! Like the big blue bear from the movie Jungle Book. Also these are my three beautiful roommates whom I love dearly already! I can't wait to tell you all about them, I just want to get through my story first. But just a little spoiler, you have Kirsty on the left from Australia, Ashley in the middle from Wisconsin, and Sarah on the right from Minnesota. I love them all and we hit it off the moment we met! Signing off for now, the girls from room 149 and Papa Baloo.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Part Three – The Fire
Continued from last post.
It is in the fire that the black smith can mold, bend, and hammer iron into shape.
Since the begging of 2008 God has plunged me into the fire melting things away from me leaving only a desperate burning I can’t even explain for Jesus and a strong desire for the School of Ministry at Bethel.
One of the first things he took away was college. I always said I would never go into debt for college so at the end of the fall semester of 2008 I looked at my budget and realized I had no money for school the next semester. I prayed about it and felt like I should stop going to school. For those who know me, I hate leaving things half finsihed. I was almost a senior in college, just one and half more years till I would get that diploma and here I was stopping. I felt stupid, like a quitter, and fighting lies that I wasted the past few years in school. Jesus had to do a work in my heart and is still dealing with the fear of man in my life. It was test, would I give into those feelings of being a failure or would I obey His word without a logical explanation or an end in sight? I chose Him and started pursuing the only thing on my heart at the time, theater and acting.
I was still leading youth at the time and that wouldn’t end till May of 2010, but I knew after that God was going to do something big for me. I knew after pouring my heart and soul into my girls it would be my time for something that God had planned. I was just waiting to see what it would be.
Spring of 2009 was my first semester off from school. At the time I was dating a tall, dark, and handsome man named Brendon! We had dated for over a year at that point. I loved him so much… but there was a check in my spirit I would not acknowledge. Something deep within me that I wouldn’t even allow my mind to form into a thought; that I was not going to marry him right then, that our time for now was coming to a close. I fought that fleeting feeling with every fiber of my being. I wanted to marry him. I knew God was doing a great work in my heart and in Brendon’s heart but for some reason I knew He needed to do it in us as single people. I could see Brendon and I growing closer to God but further apart from each other even though we were crazy about each other. I figured a wedding would fix it. I wanted to control everything, I wanted to “fix” Brendon and ignore all my faults. But Jesus would let me live that way. He kept bringing to the surface things He wanted to pull out of me such as the spirit of control, fear and worry. Six hard months later after some really tough realizations I was so desperate for God because everything else was falling apart I finally got on my knees and put my relationship with Brendon into God’s hands. Exactly one week later Brendon and I mutually agreed to separate. It was the best and sweetest break ups anyone has heard about! Jesus had revealed to Brendon we needed to be separated as well so we took a whole weekend and enjoyed our relationship, apologized for anything in the past, laughed and cried about the good and bad times, and left each other in God’s hands. I have never felt so empty. I know I am never alone or empty because Jesus fills me, but at that moment I thought my insides were ripped out and all I had in me were tears. In my eyes the world had ended. But it is in the fire that the Smith can mold the iron into the shape it wants. God was putting me in the fire and hammering away to form me into whom he created me to be in the first place.
The summer and fall of 2009 is by far the hardest time of my thus far. Jesus wrecked my life, in a good yet painful way. He purged me and changed me so much that summer I would wake up one morning and come home that night a totally different person. I learned that summer God hears my prayers. He did everything I asked; I asked him to change me, shake me, and purge me of things that were not of Him, and most of all just give me more of Himself. I would get on my face and cry out for Him to do His worst knowing in just a few hours something would happen to test me; but it was his presence I craved so intensely I would walk through anything just to be close to Him. It was the most extreme transformation I have ever experienced and it happened because I kept asking God to put me through hell so I could see more of His glory. I just want to reflect Him. I wish I could take the time to explain to everyone what God did in me but that would take too much time, too many words, and I think it is just for me and Jesus. I will say that I started praying in tongues last summer and I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to edify themselves. It was a huge part of what totally transformed me; allowing the Holy Ghost to pray God’s will over me and through me; it is one of the best things a Christians can do.
During the time Jesus was stripping everything away from me He was also revealing his perfect plan.
To be continued.
It is in the fire that the black smith can mold, bend, and hammer iron into shape.
Since the begging of 2008 God has plunged me into the fire melting things away from me leaving only a desperate burning I can’t even explain for Jesus and a strong desire for the School of Ministry at Bethel.
One of the first things he took away was college. I always said I would never go into debt for college so at the end of the fall semester of 2008 I looked at my budget and realized I had no money for school the next semester. I prayed about it and felt like I should stop going to school. For those who know me, I hate leaving things half finsihed. I was almost a senior in college, just one and half more years till I would get that diploma and here I was stopping. I felt stupid, like a quitter, and fighting lies that I wasted the past few years in school. Jesus had to do a work in my heart and is still dealing with the fear of man in my life. It was test, would I give into those feelings of being a failure or would I obey His word without a logical explanation or an end in sight? I chose Him and started pursuing the only thing on my heart at the time, theater and acting.
I was still leading youth at the time and that wouldn’t end till May of 2010, but I knew after that God was going to do something big for me. I knew after pouring my heart and soul into my girls it would be my time for something that God had planned. I was just waiting to see what it would be.
Spring of 2009 was my first semester off from school. At the time I was dating a tall, dark, and handsome man named Brendon! We had dated for over a year at that point. I loved him so much… but there was a check in my spirit I would not acknowledge. Something deep within me that I wouldn’t even allow my mind to form into a thought; that I was not going to marry him right then, that our time for now was coming to a close. I fought that fleeting feeling with every fiber of my being. I wanted to marry him. I knew God was doing a great work in my heart and in Brendon’s heart but for some reason I knew He needed to do it in us as single people. I could see Brendon and I growing closer to God but further apart from each other even though we were crazy about each other. I figured a wedding would fix it. I wanted to control everything, I wanted to “fix” Brendon and ignore all my faults. But Jesus would let me live that way. He kept bringing to the surface things He wanted to pull out of me such as the spirit of control, fear and worry. Six hard months later after some really tough realizations I was so desperate for God because everything else was falling apart I finally got on my knees and put my relationship with Brendon into God’s hands. Exactly one week later Brendon and I mutually agreed to separate. It was the best and sweetest break ups anyone has heard about! Jesus had revealed to Brendon we needed to be separated as well so we took a whole weekend and enjoyed our relationship, apologized for anything in the past, laughed and cried about the good and bad times, and left each other in God’s hands. I have never felt so empty. I know I am never alone or empty because Jesus fills me, but at that moment I thought my insides were ripped out and all I had in me were tears. In my eyes the world had ended. But it is in the fire that the Smith can mold the iron into the shape it wants. God was putting me in the fire and hammering away to form me into whom he created me to be in the first place.
The summer and fall of 2009 is by far the hardest time of my thus far. Jesus wrecked my life, in a good yet painful way. He purged me and changed me so much that summer I would wake up one morning and come home that night a totally different person. I learned that summer God hears my prayers. He did everything I asked; I asked him to change me, shake me, and purge me of things that were not of Him, and most of all just give me more of Himself. I would get on my face and cry out for Him to do His worst knowing in just a few hours something would happen to test me; but it was his presence I craved so intensely I would walk through anything just to be close to Him. It was the most extreme transformation I have ever experienced and it happened because I kept asking God to put me through hell so I could see more of His glory. I just want to reflect Him. I wish I could take the time to explain to everyone what God did in me but that would take too much time, too many words, and I think it is just for me and Jesus. I will say that I started praying in tongues last summer and I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to edify themselves. It was a huge part of what totally transformed me; allowing the Holy Ghost to pray God’s will over me and through me; it is one of the best things a Christians can do.
During the time Jesus was stripping everything away from me He was also revealing his perfect plan.
To be continued.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Part Two
Continuing from last post:
Jesus Culture wrecked my life (in a good way!) The conference was all about the presence of God. As Christians, if we do not have the presence of God we are just another one of the hundreds of religions that pollute the earth. What is the point of having church if Jesus doesn’t come? Jesus Culture is just that, to live a life (to have a culture) like Jesus. What did Jesus do? Signs and wonders and had communion with the Father all the time. What are we called to do? Sings and wonders and have communion with the Father all the time. Jesus is talking about His miracles when he says in the Bible in John 14:12, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these…” We are called to do what Jesus did on the earth. For those who have read the Gospels you know that’s pretty crazy stuff!!! Anywho, before I start preaching =) I better move on.
At the conference they did this thing called “Treasure Hunts.” A Treasure Hunt is asking for words of knowledge from the Lord to lead you to a person to pray for. Words of knowledge could be, “beach ball, purple shirt, hurt knee” etc. etc. So if you happen to go to Wal-Mart down the beach ball row, see a guy limping because he is in a knee brace and he is wearing a purple shirt, then it’s pretty darn clear God wants you to pray for him! It is asking the Lord to speak and giving him the opportunity to use you to bless and love others, brining His kingdom and power wherever you go! Pretty much it is just teaching you to be open to the Holy Spirit’s move all the time no matter if you are shopping for groceries or getting your oil changed, you should be in tune to the Holy Spirit to see if He wants you to pray or minister to someone 24/7.
Now just because the night before I was set free from a bunch of lies and insecurities doesn’t mean I wasn’t totally freaked out by going on a treasure hunt! Haha I had to fight my very powerful desire to run away, but above that I just wanted more of God, I wanted to see Him work and especially wanted Him to use me. Long story short, I didn’t whiteness any miracles through me or my team, but I was left with this crazy hunger for EVERYTHING of God.
It was at that Jesus Culture in 2008 that I heard of Bethel church in Redding CA and the school of “Supernatural Ministry.” The school sounded like a bigger version of Jesus Culture, learning to walk in the presence of God, developing spiritual gifts, studying the life of Jesus and past revivalist, going on Treasure Hunts and other ministries. This school was a culture of Jesus. It was then when I heard about it a seed was planted in my heart. I wanted to go. I wanted to be a part of something that Jesus was so evidently a part of. But I couldn’t. I was in a serious relationship I wanted to get married, I was in college, I was leading youth, I had no money, and I couldn’t just drop everything and go to some Jesus school that is not even seminary. I couldn’t drop everything…so God just took it all away from me.
To be continued.
Jesus Culture wrecked my life (in a good way!) The conference was all about the presence of God. As Christians, if we do not have the presence of God we are just another one of the hundreds of religions that pollute the earth. What is the point of having church if Jesus doesn’t come? Jesus Culture is just that, to live a life (to have a culture) like Jesus. What did Jesus do? Signs and wonders and had communion with the Father all the time. What are we called to do? Sings and wonders and have communion with the Father all the time. Jesus is talking about His miracles when he says in the Bible in John 14:12, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these…” We are called to do what Jesus did on the earth. For those who have read the Gospels you know that’s pretty crazy stuff!!! Anywho, before I start preaching =) I better move on.
At the conference they did this thing called “Treasure Hunts.” A Treasure Hunt is asking for words of knowledge from the Lord to lead you to a person to pray for. Words of knowledge could be, “beach ball, purple shirt, hurt knee” etc. etc. So if you happen to go to Wal-Mart down the beach ball row, see a guy limping because he is in a knee brace and he is wearing a purple shirt, then it’s pretty darn clear God wants you to pray for him! It is asking the Lord to speak and giving him the opportunity to use you to bless and love others, brining His kingdom and power wherever you go! Pretty much it is just teaching you to be open to the Holy Spirit’s move all the time no matter if you are shopping for groceries or getting your oil changed, you should be in tune to the Holy Spirit to see if He wants you to pray or minister to someone 24/7.
Now just because the night before I was set free from a bunch of lies and insecurities doesn’t mean I wasn’t totally freaked out by going on a treasure hunt! Haha I had to fight my very powerful desire to run away, but above that I just wanted more of God, I wanted to see Him work and especially wanted Him to use me. Long story short, I didn’t whiteness any miracles through me or my team, but I was left with this crazy hunger for EVERYTHING of God.
It was at that Jesus Culture in 2008 that I heard of Bethel church in Redding CA and the school of “Supernatural Ministry.” The school sounded like a bigger version of Jesus Culture, learning to walk in the presence of God, developing spiritual gifts, studying the life of Jesus and past revivalist, going on Treasure Hunts and other ministries. This school was a culture of Jesus. It was then when I heard about it a seed was planted in my heart. I wanted to go. I wanted to be a part of something that Jesus was so evidently a part of. But I couldn’t. I was in a serious relationship I wanted to get married, I was in college, I was leading youth, I had no money, and I couldn’t just drop everything and go to some Jesus school that is not even seminary. I couldn’t drop everything…so God just took it all away from me.
To be continued.
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