Papa Baloo!

I will take a short break from my testimony to let you know I have named by new car PAPA BALOO!! Like the big blue bear from the movie Jungle Book. Also these are my three beautiful roommates whom I love dearly already! I can't wait to tell you all about them, I just want to get through my story first. But just a little spoiler, you have Kirsty on the left from Australia, Ashley in the middle from Wisconsin, and Sarah on the right from Minnesota. I love them all and we hit it off the moment we met!
Signing off for now, the girls from room 149 and Papa Baloo.

Part Three – The Fire

Continued from last post.

It is in the fire that the black smith can mold, bend, and hammer iron into shape.

Since the begging of 2008 God has plunged me into the fire melting things away from me leaving only a desperate burning I can’t even explain for Jesus and a strong desire for the School of Ministry at Bethel.
One of the first things he took away was college. I always said I would never go into debt for college so at the end of the fall semester of 2008 I looked at my budget and realized I had no money for school the next semester. I prayed about it and felt like I should stop going to school. For those who know me, I hate leaving things half finsihed. I was almost a senior in college, just one and half more years till I would get that diploma and here I was stopping. I felt stupid, like a quitter, and fighting lies that I wasted the past few years in school. Jesus had to do a work in my heart and is still dealing with the fear of man in my life. It was test, would I give into those feelings of being a failure or would I obey His word without a logical explanation or an end in sight? I chose Him and started pursuing the only thing on my heart at the time, theater and acting.
I was still leading youth at the time and that wouldn’t end till May of 2010, but I knew after that God was going to do something big for me. I knew after pouring my heart and soul into my girls it would be my time for something that God had planned. I was just waiting to see what it would be.
Spring of 2009 was my first semester off from school. At the time I was dating a tall, dark, and handsome man named Brendon! We had dated for over a year at that point. I loved him so much… but there was a check in my spirit I would not acknowledge. Something deep within me that I wouldn’t even allow my mind to form into a thought; that I was not going to marry him right then, that our time for now was coming to a close. I fought that fleeting feeling with every fiber of my being. I wanted to marry him. I knew God was doing a great work in my heart and in Brendon’s heart but for some reason I knew He needed to do it in us as single people. I could see Brendon and I growing closer to God but further apart from each other even though we were crazy about each other. I figured a wedding would fix it. I wanted to control everything, I wanted to “fix” Brendon and ignore all my faults. But Jesus would let me live that way. He kept bringing to the surface things He wanted to pull out of me such as the spirit of control, fear and worry. Six hard months later after some really tough realizations I was so desperate for God because everything else was falling apart I finally got on my knees and put my relationship with Brendon into God’s hands. Exactly one week later Brendon and I mutually agreed to separate. It was the best and sweetest break ups anyone has heard about! Jesus had revealed to Brendon we needed to be separated as well so we took a whole weekend and enjoyed our relationship, apologized for anything in the past, laughed and cried about the good and bad times, and left each other in God’s hands. I have never felt so empty. I know I am never alone or empty because Jesus fills me, but at that moment I thought my insides were ripped out and all I had in me were tears. In my eyes the world had ended. But it is in the fire that the Smith can mold the iron into the shape it wants. God was putting me in the fire and hammering away to form me into whom he created me to be in the first place.
The summer and fall of 2009 is by far the hardest time of my thus far. Jesus wrecked my life, in a good yet painful way. He purged me and changed me so much that summer I would wake up one morning and come home that night a totally different person. I learned that summer God hears my prayers. He did everything I asked; I asked him to change me, shake me, and purge me of things that were not of Him, and most of all just give me more of Himself. I would get on my face and cry out for Him to do His worst knowing in just a few hours something would happen to test me; but it was his presence I craved so intensely I would walk through anything just to be close to Him. It was the most extreme transformation I have ever experienced and it happened because I kept asking God to put me through hell so I could see more of His glory. I just want to reflect Him. I wish I could take the time to explain to everyone what God did in me but that would take too much time, too many words, and I think it is just for me and Jesus. I will say that I started praying in tongues last summer and I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to edify themselves. It was a huge part of what totally transformed me; allowing the Holy Ghost to pray God’s will over me and through me; it is one of the best things a Christians can do.
During the time Jesus was stripping everything away from me He was also revealing his perfect plan.

To be continued.

Part Two

Continuing from last post:
Jesus Culture wrecked my life (in a good way!) The conference was all about the presence of God. As Christians, if we do not have the presence of God we are just another one of the hundreds of religions that pollute the earth. What is the point of having church if Jesus doesn’t come? Jesus Culture is just that, to live a life (to have a culture) like Jesus. What did Jesus do? Signs and wonders and had communion with the Father all the time. What are we called to do? Sings and wonders and have communion with the Father all the time. Jesus is talking about His miracles when he says in the Bible in John 14:12, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these…” We are called to do what Jesus did on the earth. For those who have read the Gospels you know that’s pretty crazy stuff!!! Anywho, before I start preaching =) I better move on.
At the conference they did this thing called “Treasure Hunts.” A Treasure Hunt is asking for words of knowledge from the Lord to lead you to a person to pray for. Words of knowledge could be, “beach ball, purple shirt, hurt knee” etc. etc. So if you happen to go to Wal-Mart down the beach ball row, see a guy limping because he is in a knee brace and he is wearing a purple shirt, then it’s pretty darn clear God wants you to pray for him! It is asking the Lord to speak and giving him the opportunity to use you to bless and love others, brining His kingdom and power wherever you go! Pretty much it is just teaching you to be open to the Holy Spirit’s move all the time no matter if you are shopping for groceries or getting your oil changed, you should be in tune to the Holy Spirit to see if He wants you to pray or minister to someone 24/7.
Now just because the night before I was set free from a bunch of lies and insecurities doesn’t mean I wasn’t totally freaked out by going on a treasure hunt! Haha I had to fight my very powerful desire to run away, but above that I just wanted more of God, I wanted to see Him work and especially wanted Him to use me. Long story short, I didn’t whiteness any miracles through me or my team, but I was left with this crazy hunger for EVERYTHING of God.
It was at that Jesus Culture in 2008 that I heard of Bethel church in Redding CA and the school of “Supernatural Ministry.” The school sounded like a bigger version of Jesus Culture, learning to walk in the presence of God, developing spiritual gifts, studying the life of Jesus and past revivalist, going on Treasure Hunts and other ministries. This school was a culture of Jesus. It was then when I heard about it a seed was planted in my heart. I wanted to go. I wanted to be a part of something that Jesus was so evidently a part of. But I couldn’t. I was in a serious relationship I wanted to get married, I was in college, I was leading youth, I had no money, and I couldn’t just drop everything and go to some Jesus school that is not even seminary. I couldn’t drop everything…so God just took it all away from me.
To be continued.

How It Started

I am in Redding CA my new home town for the next year! I’ll be moving into my apartment on Wed. Sept 1st, until then I am living with a wonderful family/community home who is renting out a room to me.

I’ve learned testimony has the ability to stir up a kind of hunger that drives people to the Lord. This is why I want to share my testimony of how I’ve come to leave everything I’ve ever know to live in Redding CA 2,000 miles away from family and friends. I pray my testimony actually encourages people and makes them hungry for the things of the Lord.

In beginning of 2008 a conference called “Jesus Culture” came to Dallas Texas. I knew nothing about it and honestly didn’t want anything to do with it. At the time I was in a relationship which I was pushing to become a marriage, I was in college, I was leading youth, and pursuing my dream of acting. In my head, my life was perfect and didn’t need a life change. Its funny how God choices that moment to turn your life upside down.
My dear dear friends Charity and LeaAnn told me about “Jesus Culture” and had already purchased their $50 tickets for the whole conference. They invited me to the first free night of worship and said I should buy a ticket for the entire conference. I agreed to the night of worship but held off on promising to commit my whole weekend and $50 to some “Jesus” thing I didn’t know about. I didn’t know why at the time, but I was nervous and border line scared of the meeting. I remember distinctly the fear that lurched in my belly when I was in LeaAnn’s truck driving to the church as the girls told me it was a “healing revivalist” conference. I wanted nothing to do with it and began to panic, the words “get me out of this car” actually came out of my mouth. I didn’t realize the fear and doubt that lived in my heart when it came to receiving and praying for healing from the Lord. Don’t’ get me wrong, I believe/d God can heal but I didn’t believe He could use me. There were questions and fears I have repressed my whole life, things I didn’t even want to touch or acknowledge. What happens if I pray for someone’s healing in the powerful name of Jesus Christ and they were not healed?! What kind of whiteness would I be? How could I wield such a power? I almost broke out into a sweat when LeaAnn and Charity tried to convince me to go to the conference all weekend. “I don’t have 50 bucks.” I blamed it on my finances, “someone will have to give me a ticket or $50 tonight if God wants me to go.” Me and my big mouth.
Long story short, someone walked up to me right before worship started and gave me their ticket. Charity and LeaAnn laughed out loud, I almost cried. I knew there was something wrong in my heart, something I couldn’t put my finger on; that night it was made clear. God shed light onto the doubt and fear in my heart I tried to repress and ignore all these years. I had a distrust of how God wanted to use me and the person I was in Christ. I didn’t think I was good enough or spiritual enough to heal someone. But it is not I who heals; it is the God of all creation. I was standing there watching a room full of people falling down and worship in the presence of God and there I was feeling nothing. I was left with a choice. Now that I knew what was in me, I could keep my normal life and live with it, or could choose the harder road and press into the Lord until I was free which would mean my world being turned upside for the rest of my life. What else could I do? I went to a godly couple I respect and hold dear and asked them to pray with me. I had to get lies out of my heart and pray truth in. We prayed and broke off chains holding me back swinging the door of freedom open for me to live in trust of the truth and fullness of God and His power. A revelation hit me like a ton of bricks, I do not have to worry if the person is healed or not, it is not my job, my sole job is to hear the voice of the Lord and to be open and ready to obey whatever God says. If God tells me to pray for someone then that’s what I do, I leave the rest up in His completely capable hands. God will not tell me to pray for someone without a divine purpose no matter if the outcome is a healing or not. My life is to follow His lead, obey His voice, and carry His presence around with me to affect others around me. With that comes complete freedom from fear of performing, outcome, or explanation. A will walk in the Holy Spirit and trust Him, He will do all the work and all I have to focus on is making sure I am in communication with Him inviting Him to use me everywhere I go.
That weekend has changed my life forever. Since then I have been trying to tune my ears to the Lord’s voice in whatever way he speaks to me. He has tested me, and little did I know some of the biggest tests were to come that involved hearing His voice and choosing to obey.
To be continued.

Blue Baby

Here is my new car the Lord provided for me! I am still deciding on a name, but until then, it is my blue baby!

joyfully getting gray hairs

Four, yes four, days and counting people! I pack up my life and head west early Monday morning. I have not even started my year of Bible school and God has already tested my faith and shown Himself faithful by providing for me.
As some of you may know a week and a half before I DRIVE to CA my 96 Honda civic breaks down; the diagnosis, I need a new car! I had a week and half to buy a new car!! After my initial panic attack and quick growth a few gray hairs I was able to look through spiritual eyes and see: If this did not happen before I left, my car could have died on the way there with my whole life packed away in it in the middle of some desert driving to CA. Or it could have broken down after I got there when I was all by myself not knowing what to do! So it was such a blessing to have my car give out on me while I am still here which allowed my Dad to show me the ropes of buying a car.
Long story short God was so good is closing all the wrong doors and brining me to the car I now own, a Bright Baby Blue 2008 JEEP Patriot!! LOVE IT! I mean come on people, how awesome is that! I have always wanted a jeep and I almost bought a few wrong cars but God was so faithful and not allowing that to happen and teaching me to be joyful in every circumstance. I am pretty sure my mechanics think I am crazy! I was in good moods every time I would bring them a car I wanted to buy and they would tell me it was not good enough. I would just smile and say “I’ll bring another one soon.” I think they felt sorry for me so they didn’t even charge me for checking a few cars over for me. Ha. Just chock that up to another blessing from God saving me about $80 bucks each time.
Every time God shuts a door it is because there is something better out there. Even though I literally only had 5 days left, I had to learn to trust Jesus that He has everything in control and really does have the best plan for me, and now I have the perfect car! Now granted I have monthly payments I was not expecting, but hey, I am just waiting to see how God drops money in my lap this time.
I will wait on His timing and be joyful in uncertainty for the ONE thing I am sure of is His crazy love for me.
~Dani

It is happening

Well ladies and gentleman, It is happening, I am moving to Reddding CA. Hence the blog.

The Lord has been preparing my heart for quite some time (somewhere around 2 years now) to move out to Redding and attend Bible School. I am leaving everything I know, everyone I love, and pretty much everything I have to follow where God is leading me. I do not want to loose contact with people and I would love my friends who are dear to my heart to see and know what is happening to me, so here it is, a blog to follow! I will update it as I can during my studies and new life in California.

I want this blog to be a witness of Jesus in my life. I will start with the story of how I ended up at this point in my life. But not right now. =) Give me a few days to get this thing under control and learn how to be a real "blogger" (ha) and I have my goodbyes to say to friends, family, boyfriend, and Texas during my last full month here. I'll be packing up my cowgirl boots and driving to CA in the middle of Aug to teach those crazy west coast people how to say "ya'll"!